CLEAR BOUNDARY SELF TEST ~ ASK YOURSELF:
Do I have clarity around what it is that I want for me?
Do I people please to feel loved or valued?
Do I hide speaking my truth and avoid intimacy?
Do I deflect with humor or sarcasm or blame? (Other?)
Do I rationalise constantly and get stuck in my head?
Do I over explain why I chose to put myself first? Or, do I over explain why I can’t put me first?
Do I over apologize?
Am I constantly aware of how others might see me or judge me?
Do I chronically judge myself?
Is there rigid self-imposed rules that I live by? (Should, have to, always, never, etc.)
When I’m not being seen or heard, my body gets my attention with; irritation, frustration, anger, headaches, stomach aches, anxiety, crabbiness, lashing out and then isolating myself (list other creative ways that you might do this?)
Do I have unresolved trauma from childhood or previous relationships?
Do I create chaos or drama or time issues to distract me from me?
Is there a theme of betrayal, abandonment, jealousy, unworthiness, self blame, toxic story making to keep me small and hidden? (List any others that come up for you.)
Here’s what I know; when people don’t have freedom or know what it is that they want, or know what and can’t get it, it always comes down to a boundary issue.